An interview with Mary Beth Abella by Dan Vigil for HigherListening.com, January 2003 Drive comes from different places. For Mary Beth Abella, it is from a passion, an insatiable appetite to produce. She has spent many years searching for something that would fulfill a need to help people and a desire to spread her art. You know Mary Beth. She is that nice quiet little lady who has stood in front of you with an acoustic guitar playing a lovely melody. She is that black and red haired girl who rocks your world with slightly tainted sordid tales of the world. She is that social do-gooder whose work is hidden in community schools with children expressing themselves through art and music. She is that active woman organizing female musicians to collectively learn and excel in the music community. But do we really know Mary Beth at all? On Monday afternoon, I placed myself at a table looking directly toward the door of a fine coffee establishment in Denver. Mary Beth walked in shortly after, beaming a smile and waving a hello. Like an old friend, we hugged our hellos and moved to the cozy corner of the coffee house. "I'm inspired," she said quietly as she leaned forward in her chair, "It's kind of a secret of why I'm inspired." She looked to the microphone firmly clipped to the crease in the knee of my jeans. "I'm probably moving in the fall. Probably to New York," she said with an initial bit of hesitation, but relaxed shortly after. "I've been inspired since John left." John, her brother, spent an amazing and intense nine months with Mary Beth. A while back, she realized that she needed to make a CD if she were going to be considered a contender in music. She also knew that her brother was the person who should help make this CD. "It's hard to go against John," she said, "John really knows what he's doing." Mary Beth recalled the process of working with her brother as a split between being productive and tough love. Sometimes, John would straight up tell her "no" on certain issues. Mary Beth knew that if there was something about the CD she really thought should happen, she would have to muster all of her energy to fight for it. After nine months of having her brother as a housemate, the CD finally came out. The CD is now fully realized. The CD, "What Happened to the Girls," came out in the fall of 2002. After nearly a year of recording constantly, playing constantly and finding the right mixture in the live band, Mary Beth finished the year strong. She had an absolutely packed house at the Lion's Lair for the CD release party. During the month of November, she played seven shows supporting the new CD. Mary Beth doesn't talk about the songs too much. She fears we might think she is actually insane. "The songs tell secrets that I would not say to people," she said. "The songs are really honest and real. Everything that is painful and terrible and joyous can be expressed in a song. The stuff that is intensely personal or intensely scary is the stuff that I write about." All the work surrounding the promotion and fine tuning of the band left Mary Beth a little worn before the holidays. Her brother, who moved to town to help with the CD, moved to LA to pursue a career in film scoring. The drummer quit. The bass player decided he wasn't really a bass player, and took off. Mary Beth turned this into an opportunity to study--to hone her abilities as a guitar player, to write more music, and to learn her brother's guitar parts. (Yes, he was also part of the band.) "Since then, I've come up with some stuff that I'm really excited about." Like a youngster full of anticipation, she told me about a song for a movie, with cello parts and high harmony. So, why move to New York? Mary Beth is looking forward to a change in atmosphere, with new ideas and new music. "As an artist," she said, "I feel you have to constantly be exposed to new stuff. There is stuff in the air that you get inspired by. You have to have new experiences to write about." The move, in part, is to advance her music career. She looks forward to immersing herself in the famed New York artist community. The East Coast will also allow her to be near those who can help, like managers, bands, and old friends. Denver has been her home for 13 years, but it is still small compared to some of the places where she has lived. She wants to be in a bigger city. "Sometimes I feel my soul is withering here." Her time in Denver has been split between going to school, finishing her Masters Degree, and working within the music community. For years, Mary Beth occupied her day being a social worker. Her attitude about the day job was great, it was the career she wanted. She was looking forward to working and fighting for something she really believed in. After grad school and a couple of jobs in the field, she came to the tough realization that maybe that wasn't what she was going to do. "Kevin, I really just want to play music, I don't want to be a social worker, I'm sorry," she recalls telling her husband shortly after graduation and $40,000 in debt later. "I can't help it, that's what my soul needs." Eventually, Mary Beth was able to integrate both parts of her soul's needs. Music and helping people. The Colorado Women in Music (CWIM) organization was formed as a committee of the Colorado Music Association. Mary Beth was one of the founding members and is the current chairperson. The original purpose of the committee was to help educate women musicians in the ways of the industry. At a point earlier in her music career, Mary Beth attempted to make a CD on her own. She went to studio upon studio, not fully knowing what questions to ask. The male dominated industry seemed to turn on her at times, telling Mary Beth she couldn't make this decision or that decision about her music because she was "too emotional." Mary Beth felt that wasn't appropriate seeing as how she was paying for these services. After talking with her male peers, she realized that wasn't the response they were getting. CWIM began by pooling the knowledge of the group. Other women had a place where they could learn better booking techniques, advice on promoting shows, and of course, what to expect when they record a CD. Soon, CWIM decided they would learn a great deal if they organized an event. Venusfest was born. In the beginning, CWIM decided on a few basics. There would be a big headliner. The performers would get paid. Everybody in CWIM would help with promoting, sponsorship and more. Although the night went pretty well, Mary Beth had a bit of frustration. The draw at the door didn't cover the expenses. With Mary Beth fronting most of the money, the immediate thought of losing all that money didn't sit well. "I remember I was sitting there counting the money to pay the performers, and I realized that it wasn't enough," she said. "And I broke down and cried." CWIM soon rallied behind Mary Beth, deciding that this wasn't going to be a personal financial debt, but one that the group should assume. The next Venusfest was far more productive and profitable. Everybody involved promoted harder. Everybody involved worked more at getting sponsorships. It worked out better all the way around. "It was like all that pain had to happen in order for this thing to work," Mary Beth said. Today, CWIM has a standing show at 60 South. The committee has grown and is very active. The group is looking to solidify the organization and delegation of responsibilities. CWIM has been a very tight network of musicians. When asked what shows she's done recently that have been special for her, Mary Beth remembered two in particular. "Opening for Alana Davis was great," Mary Beth smiled slightly, "I felt so good and so comfortable about playing." Mary Beth recalled how cozy the Bluebird felt that night. She recalls the crowd really being there to listen to the music. The crowd was very responsive to her. Mary Beth also loved having a sound guy dedicated to her, making sure everything was perfect before the started. "And the cool thing," she continued, "was that Alana Davis treated me like an equal." The Juliana Hatfield show at the Lion's Lair was also memorable. "Her crowd was tough," Mary Beth said. "They were definitely there to see Juliana Hatfield. By the end of my set, I felt I won them over." Hatfield, a solo electric performer, took the rare occasion to sit in the bar and watch Mary Beth play. According to Hatfield's road manager, Juliana doesn't go out and listen to the opening acts very often. Things are looking up for Mary Beth Abella. With the release of the CD and a new look on the website, Mary Beth has managed to reinvent the image perceived by the public. "The response has been great. People are getting a better idea of who I am," she said. "People have this image that I am this folky, soft type of artist. Really, if you listen to the lyrics, they're really kind of fucked up and intense." The look of the CDs and the photos are reflecting more who she is. It is giving her more of the edgy and hard feel that you can hear in her music. The music is definitely not fluff. It is substantive. Mary Beth is a fascinating and wonderful person who is able to transform from a sweet friend that exchanges hellos in the form of a hug to a chick rocker whose sound is something you would never expect. Mary Beth will be unleashing her special brand of chick rock with a new cast of band members at the Bluebird on January 23 at 9 PM. Xiren will be headlining and the band, Oakhurst will be opening. Visit her website at www.marybethabella.com. You can find the album, "What Happened to the Girls" at Wax Trax, Twist and Shout (on the listening post), or at her live shows in town.